The Nursery and The Names!

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We have finally finished the nursery (for the most part)! Sorry for the last picture being dark, the lighting was not the best!

Lets talk about names!

So people started asking me way to soon what the names were that we were thinking of. I literally told my doctor at one point that I had commitment issues when it came to the names. Jack was the name of Jeremy’s (my husband) grandfather so that was never really up in the air for debate. It’s okay. I like the name actually! I know it is an “older” name in that it has been around for a long time, but after I started watching “This Is Us” this year (I get that it is a TV show!), I could only hope that my son would grow in to a man just like Jack.  Anyways, I have heard about 100 times, “I like the name Jax”, or “How about Jackson?”  I’m not quite sure why people think it is up for debate or why the name “Jack” is not sufficient enough for them, but I am assuming this is the universe’s way of getting me prepared for motherhood by making me stick to my guns!

Besides, the debate over Jack wasn’t nearly as awful as what people had to say about Carter.  I chose Carter for a few specific reasons other than liking the name in general. First of all, my husband kind of let me take the lead on our daughter’s name since he had chosen the name for our son. That being said, he also liked the name Carter and took to it quickly after I suggested it.  Second of all, I liked being able to honor my mother with use of her initials and middle name. My mother has played an important role in my life and we are very close. I liked that Carter’s initials would be CAS, since we also decided on Anne for her middle name.  My mom’s middle name is Anne as well. My mom’s initials (pre-marriage) were also CAS, and after she married by father became CAR, which are the first three letters in Carter’s name.  I liked the way that these things could be connected back to my mom, but at the end of the day still allowed Carter to be an individual.  Unlike my husband and unlike our son, I wanted our daughter to have her own name, rather than stress about what relative to honor.  When I told my sister about the name and the reasoning up to this point she loved it! My sister’s name is Taylor, which could be considered a “unisex” name (the first complaint we got about the name Carter), and she agreed that it was cool and we should go with it.  My mother’s main complaint (this was ironically before she realized the correlation to the use of her own initials) was that Carter rhymed with our last name, Snyder.  She also thought the name was more appropriate for a boy. I disagreed. I have never known a boy or girl to be named Carter, so there is no existing connection for me. I have heard the name being used as both, but no personal connection exists.  My grandmother literally hated the name and hoped that I would change it. Actually, up until the point that we have literally posted their names on the walls of the nursery we have gotten push back from various members of my family in particular.

If I have any advice for moms or even dads to be at this point, considering my daughter and son have not been born yet and I am still wondering if we have made the right name choices, it is to talk to your partner and work with them to come up with names and ignore what people have to say. I think people just want to be part of the process and that is why they come up with never ending suggestions about various parts of parenting and pregnancy.  Most of the time, this can be overwhelming anyways, but when it comes to naming your children, it is a very personal experience and it is something that you should feel free to do without influence and opinion, especially of the negative type, from friends and family.

I also would just like to say, for those of you who may be reading this and expecting children of your own that are nameless as of now, giving a name to your children is one of the most surreal experiences because it brings another whole new level of reality to the situation. It took me a very long time to get used to referring to them by their names, and I haven’t quite gotten used to it yet to be honest. When I do refer to them as Jack and Carter I am overwhelmed by a feeling of joy and hope for what is yet to come in the future and I am so excited to meet these two little people!

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My Mindset

My Mindset

Thank you so much for visiting my site and for taking the time to get to know me a little better! When I was younger I enjoyed to journal but that took a back seat to other responsibilities as my life changed.  After my husband and I found out we were having twins, I thought more and more about starting a blog of my own. I thought that having a place to talk about our journey and share the things that I was going through with the world would possibly be of help to another woman out there going through the same thing.

Furthermore, as I pondered how my life would change immensely with the addition of our two little “nuggets”, I realized that so many women don’t talk about the impact that has on their own lives and how hard it can be to come to terms with the change from girl, to woman, to mom.

When my husband and I found out I was pregnant at first, before we knew about the twins, we expected to put our child in to daycare and that I would go back to work. When we found out that we were having twins that all changed. How as I to justify leaving my little ones in the care of someone else when all I would earn each week was just enough to cover the expense of daycare? It didn’t make sense. After looking in to a few different options and realizing that the cost of putting two infants in to daycare in New York would be well over $400 a week, we made the simple (but difficult) decision of losing an income instead and I made the decision to be a stay at home mom (at least for a little while).

I’ve never had to be a stay at home mom. I’ve worked since I was 16 years old earning my own paycheck and contributing to the household financially. Now, at 26 years old, I would learn what it was like to make $0 a week. This is something I am still coming to terms with. After all, how am I supposed to get my makeup fix?

For the first time in my life I feel the need to connect to this experience on a different, more spiritual level.  I believe in a higher power, but I am not an avidly religious woman.  However, at this point, having faith that everything will work out for the best and allowing myself to enjoy this experience have been two of the most important things I make it a point to do on the daily. We will find a way to make it work. We have to now.

And then of course there was the barrage of opinions from the ever growing peanut gallery. You first timers know what I’m talking about! People are so different and we all go through life and deal with things differently. I’ve been argued with about opinions I haven’t even fully developed yet. Don’t worry, I will get in to this more later on! As you go through pregnancy and your body, mind, and life changes, you are expected to understand that people are just trying to help you by pushing their opinions and beliefs on to you. I had to remind at least three people that they could go on to have a cocktail after the conversation, but that I would have to deal with all of this while sober. I’m not trying to sound bitter or ungrateful, but at the same time they are called “personal choices” for a reason, they are “personal”.  Having sex, getting pregnant, and eventually having kids (I assume at this point) are some of the most personal things that you will ever go through. It can be overwhelming to have a ton of people weighing in with their opinions on the best ways to do that. My personal favorite conversation is one about breastfeeding. I will address this again later, but to be brief, varying opinions can often feel as though they are becoming judgmental and critical comments when people doubt your ability to do something that you haven’t even done yet. Not every time someone gives you advice is it rooted in this positive, well-meaning space.

Today I am 25 weeks and 5 days pregnant with my little nuggets! I am so excited to meet them and so worried about them 24/7.  I’m always worried that something is going to go wrong. Even after perfect doctor’s visits and plenty of ultrasounds I am still worried all of the time.  The doctor told us at our last appointment, which was May 25th, that we can expect to be induced 2 weeks prior to our due date, which means that we have just 12 weeks and 2 days to go! Sometimes it feels like this is taking forever and sometimes it feels like it is flying by. I am in disbelief every single day that we have been this blessed and that in just about three months we will have fully made two of our very own little people. It truly has been an incredible experience so far.